So, I ran 6 miles today.
I am exhausted. hah!
I stopped a few times for various reasons and speed walked for a few paces, so I can't say I fully ran 6 full miles, but it was definitely over 5!
Wild. I've never run this far in my life.
And yet, I still harp on myself for not getting the full 6 in without stopping.
Why are we so hard on ourselves?
Months ago I was ecstatic for running A mile without stopping and now I can do well over 2.
Not to mention keep going the distance of 6.
This whole process of running has been terribly therapeutic.
And I mean every word of that statement.
The parallels between physical and mental/spiritual learning are too vast to record, and the stamina I'm building stretches far beyond carnal effects.
But with as much progress as I've made, it's still exhausting.
The last 100 yards I had to literally pray that God would get me through it--and I actually pushed harder than any other part of the run. hm.
I have a lot to write about, but not anything organized.
One thing I will say though is that healing, like running, is painful and exhausting.
We want to quit when it gets too tough, when memories sting our souls, bringing foul tastes to our mouths and that uneasy feeling to our stomachs.
I, at least find it so much "easier" to shove things to the side and pretend like they don't exist.
But reality says that just like I need to run to complete this race, we have to deal with the issues within.
Whether it's other people's wrongs which have affected us, or our own wrong doing that keeps us in pain, we will never be free without 1.) confession and 2.) work (which, according to Webster's dictionary means "exertion of effort to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil").
Unfortunately inner healing doesn't just happen overnight.
God CAN do amazing things through prayer, but we are emotional beings; we are physical and intellectual beings--and those things come into play when healing is required.
So, here's to progress through a painful process which I know leads to life and newness..
one mile/day at a time.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Forthright Prayer for the Night.
Wrote this a while ago in deep longing--A prayer of Psalms. It's the best way to go.
Lover,
Everyone around me (except two) are in serious relationships, married, or engaged. (p.s. that's a slight exaggeration.. but at this point, not really) So I will bring every thought captive to you. I will seek after your face (Ps. 27:8). I will desire to gaze upon your beauty all the days of my life (Ps. 27:4). I will trust in your steadfast LOVE (Ps. 13:5) and be satisfied with your likeness (Ps. 17:15). I will keep my eyes ever toward you (Ps. 25:15) and sing to you a NEW song (Ps. 33:3) I will keep my tongue from evil and deceit and turn from evil and do good (Ps. 34:13). I will seek peace and pursue it (Ps. 33:14). I will delight myself in you (37:4), being still before you and waiting patiently, not fretting (Ps. 37:7). I will offer to you my broken and contrite heart (Ps. 57:17), my broken spirit will sing praise to your name--giving thanks with my whole heart (Ps. 9:1-2)--broken or not. For your love is better than life (63:3). So--my soul waits alone in silence for you, God (Ps. 62:1) trusting in you at all times, pouring out my heart before you (62:8) to be a refuge. I will shout for joy to you (66:1) and say "How awesome are your deeds--for power belongs to you, and steadfast love" (66:2). I will remember you tonight upon my bed (63:6) and earnestly seek you so that my soul itself thirsts for you, and my body faints for you (63:1), until there is NOTHING on earth I DESIRE but you (73:25)! But YOU will do this for me, because my flesh and my heart will fail--but you are the strength of my heart (73:26). So please satisfy me in the morning with your steadfast love so I can rejoice and be glad (90:14) regardless of my circumstance. I will tremble before you (96:9) and walk with integrity of heart (101:2) for you have washed me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleansed me from my sin (51:2) and promise to teach the humble your ways (25:9). For you've saved me when I was brought low (116:6) and delivered me soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling (116:8). You preserve the simple (116:6) so I will live that way. You have loosed my bonds (116:16) so I shall recount your deeds Lord (118:17) and ask you to let me not wander from your commandments (119:10). For my flesh trembles for fear of you (119:20). Do not let me occupy myself with things too great or marvelous for me (131:1), but to wait with hope (130:5) like a weaned child--quiet and calm (131:2). Where can I go from your Spirit? Your presence is always with me (139:7)! So please heal my broken heart and bind up all my wounds (147:3). I will take pleasure in you Lord, humbly (149:4), singing for joy in my bed (149:5) and DANCING to praise your name (149:3). With every breath I have, I will praise you, God (150:6).
Amen.
Lover,
Everyone around me (except two) are in serious relationships, married, or engaged. (p.s. that's a slight exaggeration.. but at this point, not really) So I will bring every thought captive to you. I will seek after your face (Ps. 27:8). I will desire to gaze upon your beauty all the days of my life (Ps. 27:4). I will trust in your steadfast LOVE (Ps. 13:5) and be satisfied with your likeness (Ps. 17:15). I will keep my eyes ever toward you (Ps. 25:15) and sing to you a NEW song (Ps. 33:3) I will keep my tongue from evil and deceit and turn from evil and do good (Ps. 34:13). I will seek peace and pursue it (Ps. 33:14). I will delight myself in you (37:4), being still before you and waiting patiently, not fretting (Ps. 37:7). I will offer to you my broken and contrite heart (Ps. 57:17), my broken spirit will sing praise to your name--giving thanks with my whole heart (Ps. 9:1-2)--broken or not. For your love is better than life (63:3). So--my soul waits alone in silence for you, God (Ps. 62:1) trusting in you at all times, pouring out my heart before you (62:8) to be a refuge. I will shout for joy to you (66:1) and say "How awesome are your deeds--for power belongs to you, and steadfast love" (66:2). I will remember you tonight upon my bed (63:6) and earnestly seek you so that my soul itself thirsts for you, and my body faints for you (63:1), until there is NOTHING on earth I DESIRE but you (73:25)! But YOU will do this for me, because my flesh and my heart will fail--but you are the strength of my heart (73:26). So please satisfy me in the morning with your steadfast love so I can rejoice and be glad (90:14) regardless of my circumstance. I will tremble before you (96:9) and walk with integrity of heart (101:2) for you have washed me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleansed me from my sin (51:2) and promise to teach the humble your ways (25:9). For you've saved me when I was brought low (116:6) and delivered me soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling (116:8). You preserve the simple (116:6) so I will live that way. You have loosed my bonds (116:16) so I shall recount your deeds Lord (118:17) and ask you to let me not wander from your commandments (119:10). For my flesh trembles for fear of you (119:20). Do not let me occupy myself with things too great or marvelous for me (131:1), but to wait with hope (130:5) like a weaned child--quiet and calm (131:2). Where can I go from your Spirit? Your presence is always with me (139:7)! So please heal my broken heart and bind up all my wounds (147:3). I will take pleasure in you Lord, humbly (149:4), singing for joy in my bed (149:5) and DANCING to praise your name (149:3). With every breath I have, I will praise you, God (150:6).
Amen.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
You can RUN but you can't hide.
I hurt of feeling pain.
That sentence is not gramatically-correct,
But I'm not sick of it, I'm hurt by it. Which makes sense. Pain is painful.
This is the very beginning of the long and dreadful healing process.
I wish I could go into detail, but for tonight, I can not.
Things I could not control, things from childhood (and beyond), have left lasting scabs on my soul which are currently getting ripped off through counseling.
It really sucks actually.
But I know it's necessary.
I write this before bed without any plan or premeditation.
And I write this to say one simple truth: We can run, but we can never hide from the truth.
The truth of our sin and the truth of other's sin hurting us will never leave the soul unless we confess it.
I dated this guy one time who had this awkward affinity for popping pimples.
Gross, I know.
It wasn't until a ways into the relationship that he actually had the nerve to pop one of mine.
It was slightly traumatizing.
But he said something one time that stuck with me and is essentially my life's current motto:
"Gotta get the poison out, Alli." (and brief side note, why does spell checker say my name is spelled wrong? rude.)
"Gotta get the poison out."
At first, I understood that as merely justification for his disturbing actions. And pretended to resist them.
But then, although I really did resist sometimes, took this phrase to heart.
We have SO much poison in our lives.
Whether it's a lack of confession of wrongs we've done to God or others disproving love, or painful memories we have actively suppressed for years, it's poison nonetheless that distorts the soul and masks our true state.
To avoid transparency with others and God (and therefore yourself) will only result in unhealthy guilt/shame or defiling denial that dulls down the soul to a less-than-desirable state.
Dan Allender puts it this way in a book I'm reading, "Life lived in the mire of denial is not life at all."
Avoiding confession and general openness with others is not only a disservice to those around us, but ultimately destroys us as well. How blind we are to think that the pains of our hearts will evaporate if we ignore them. How foolish to think we can pretend sin didn't really happen as long as we don't tell anyone.
Well I've been there. I've lived it and lied it and cheated it and been abused by it and I know that there is no way to escape the truth.
I say this far too much now, but it truly "is what it is" when it comes to the truth.
I went for a run yesterday for the first time in a while--which is sad to admit because I'm training for a half-marathon. It was difficult physically only because my body was not prepared for it. I had stopped training. My muscles were okay but my lungs were not happy with me. What was I to expect, that no cramps would come during a 4-mile run after many days off?
It's a silly parallel but it reminded me of getting things out of us that need to be exposed.
When we stop training--aka living honestly and vulnerably with our community, selves and God--we will undoubtedly reap the consequences of it.
We can keep pretending "everything is fine" and be unnoticeably miserable inside, or run to every distracting text message or hang out or tv show we love, but ultimately the truth will always find you.
And it's good.
Because the truth with set you free.
That is scripture.
And that is my personal experience.
And I know that is true.
The truth will find you and the truth will set you free.
Whether we've been broken by others or ourselves, we will never really live unless we're real with the people around us.
Community is life.
Life is freedom.
And freedom is truth.
That sentence is not gramatically-correct,
But I'm not sick of it, I'm hurt by it. Which makes sense. Pain is painful.
This is the very beginning of the long and dreadful healing process.
I wish I could go into detail, but for tonight, I can not.
Things I could not control, things from childhood (and beyond), have left lasting scabs on my soul which are currently getting ripped off through counseling.
It really sucks actually.
But I know it's necessary.
I write this before bed without any plan or premeditation.
And I write this to say one simple truth: We can run, but we can never hide from the truth.
The truth of our sin and the truth of other's sin hurting us will never leave the soul unless we confess it.
I dated this guy one time who had this awkward affinity for popping pimples.
Gross, I know.
It wasn't until a ways into the relationship that he actually had the nerve to pop one of mine.
It was slightly traumatizing.
But he said something one time that stuck with me and is essentially my life's current motto:
"Gotta get the poison out, Alli." (and brief side note, why does spell checker say my name is spelled wrong? rude.)
"Gotta get the poison out."
At first, I understood that as merely justification for his disturbing actions. And pretended to resist them.
But then, although I really did resist sometimes, took this phrase to heart.
We have SO much poison in our lives.
Whether it's a lack of confession of wrongs we've done to God or others disproving love, or painful memories we have actively suppressed for years, it's poison nonetheless that distorts the soul and masks our true state.
To avoid transparency with others and God (and therefore yourself) will only result in unhealthy guilt/shame or defiling denial that dulls down the soul to a less-than-desirable state.
Dan Allender puts it this way in a book I'm reading, "Life lived in the mire of denial is not life at all."
Avoiding confession and general openness with others is not only a disservice to those around us, but ultimately destroys us as well. How blind we are to think that the pains of our hearts will evaporate if we ignore them. How foolish to think we can pretend sin didn't really happen as long as we don't tell anyone.
Well I've been there. I've lived it and lied it and cheated it and been abused by it and I know that there is no way to escape the truth.
I say this far too much now, but it truly "is what it is" when it comes to the truth.
I went for a run yesterday for the first time in a while--which is sad to admit because I'm training for a half-marathon. It was difficult physically only because my body was not prepared for it. I had stopped training. My muscles were okay but my lungs were not happy with me. What was I to expect, that no cramps would come during a 4-mile run after many days off?
It's a silly parallel but it reminded me of getting things out of us that need to be exposed.
When we stop training--aka living honestly and vulnerably with our community, selves and God--we will undoubtedly reap the consequences of it.
We can keep pretending "everything is fine" and be unnoticeably miserable inside, or run to every distracting text message or hang out or tv show we love, but ultimately the truth will always find you.
And it's good.
Because the truth with set you free.
That is scripture.
And that is my personal experience.
And I know that is true.
The truth will find you and the truth will set you free.
Whether we've been broken by others or ourselves, we will never really live unless we're real with the people around us.
Community is life.
Life is freedom.
And freedom is truth.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
"Hurry up and Heal"
I got a tattoo recently.
It's sweet. Simple and may not make sense to others (definitely not the artist, ha) but it's meaningful to me.
It's a simple black band of ink across my left ring finger to symbolize being forever loved and wed to my God.
I've always wanted to get one in the future with my husband because that relationship was to represent forever.
Going through a break up though really teaches a girl some things. For one, I don't want to wait around for any man. Another, no person's love will EVER compare to the Father's. It is intimately perfect, and consistently faithful. It can't be broken by anyone or anything and we ourselves can't even control it.
So, I wanted a permanent reminder of this love--and if I ever do get married, when my husband wants to get a tattoo ring together (because he will), it will just have to go around this one. :)
This tattoo, though small, has strongly resembled happenings in my life on a deeper level.
The healing process for a tat is very interesting.
The first few days are critical, then it scabs up and you think it's going to be the ugliest thing or you've just obtained some scab-related fungus from the tattoo shop. The scabbing will eventually go away, but in the mean time you have to be careful around it for fading/spotting purposes.
I am an extremely impatient person. And really want to skip the healing process.
"Come onnnn, heal already!" is my thought literally every time I glance down at my symbol.
But it will not heal any faster than it needs the time to do.
This is frustrating to me because there are a lot of other types of healing going on deep within, and I'm realizing I can't rush those either.
This is personal, and it might sound really crazy to some, but I've started to go see a counselor to deal with some of the junk in my past. It has evidently never been dealt with, as it keeps manifesting in poor, self-or-others destructive choices, and surfaces in vague memory form from time to time.
The counselor didn't say much after I talked her ear off (surprising, I know)--but each comment was a rabid blow to the heart. Each comment was truth, which is why it hurt so much.
I left realizing we had literally not even scratched the surface of this junk and as I read material she suggested, I know it will be a long, hard road to freedom.
It's worth it (so I'm told), but it's extremely scary and overwhelming.
"Hurry up already! Just be healed, would ya?!" is how my mind reacts to my hearts distresses.
But having never healed from monumental pains, I see that I need to learn how to heal and to deal.
I'm the ultimate suppressor.
People on the whole are pretty good at it, but I mean it--I'm scarily good at it.
Regardless, it's time to let go of the fear (or just try and ignore it) and jump in full-force to the slow, much-needed process of healing of the heart. Just like my tat, it's going to take longer that I want to admit to. And at times it's going to look and feel so painfully awkward that I'm sure it will look like I made the wrong choice letting these issues surface.But those scabs are lies; they do not signify what will come--which will hopefully be permanent, pure, freedom-bound healing.
It's sweet. Simple and may not make sense to others (definitely not the artist, ha) but it's meaningful to me.
It's a simple black band of ink across my left ring finger to symbolize being forever loved and wed to my God.
I've always wanted to get one in the future with my husband because that relationship was to represent forever.
Going through a break up though really teaches a girl some things. For one, I don't want to wait around for any man. Another, no person's love will EVER compare to the Father's. It is intimately perfect, and consistently faithful. It can't be broken by anyone or anything and we ourselves can't even control it.
So, I wanted a permanent reminder of this love--and if I ever do get married, when my husband wants to get a tattoo ring together (because he will), it will just have to go around this one. :)
This tattoo, though small, has strongly resembled happenings in my life on a deeper level.
The healing process for a tat is very interesting.
The first few days are critical, then it scabs up and you think it's going to be the ugliest thing or you've just obtained some scab-related fungus from the tattoo shop. The scabbing will eventually go away, but in the mean time you have to be careful around it for fading/spotting purposes.
I am an extremely impatient person. And really want to skip the healing process.
"Come onnnn, heal already!" is my thought literally every time I glance down at my symbol.
But it will not heal any faster than it needs the time to do.
This is frustrating to me because there are a lot of other types of healing going on deep within, and I'm realizing I can't rush those either.
This is personal, and it might sound really crazy to some, but I've started to go see a counselor to deal with some of the junk in my past. It has evidently never been dealt with, as it keeps manifesting in poor, self-or-others destructive choices, and surfaces in vague memory form from time to time.
The counselor didn't say much after I talked her ear off (surprising, I know)--but each comment was a rabid blow to the heart. Each comment was truth, which is why it hurt so much.
I left realizing we had literally not even scratched the surface of this junk and as I read material she suggested, I know it will be a long, hard road to freedom.
It's worth it (so I'm told), but it's extremely scary and overwhelming.
"Hurry up already! Just be healed, would ya?!" is how my mind reacts to my hearts distresses.
But having never healed from monumental pains, I see that I need to learn how to heal and to deal.
I'm the ultimate suppressor.
People on the whole are pretty good at it, but I mean it--I'm scarily good at it.
Regardless, it's time to let go of the fear (or just try and ignore it) and jump in full-force to the slow, much-needed process of healing of the heart. Just like my tat, it's going to take longer that I want to admit to. And at times it's going to look and feel so painfully awkward that I'm sure it will look like I made the wrong choice letting these issues surface.But those scabs are lies; they do not signify what will come--which will hopefully be permanent, pure, freedom-bound healing.
Friday, September 16, 2011
My Apologies...
I've been really intentionally negligent of this blog for some time now.
I don't feel like I have to write, but have wanted to and haven't because so many of life's current lessons blend together. So, each of the several posts I've started to write in the past few weeks have ended in an "ah this is too much, I'll finish it later" mindset.
Well, no more later--the time is now.
I've really debated on getting personal in this blog. I've gotten personal to an extent, but not nearly to the depths or specifics of where I'm truly at. At first, I planned on this blog being a bunch of external writings having to do with life and faith at large. You know, keep things general; avoid personal emotion at all cost.
For a while that was out of respect for people in my life who may read this--or others who may read it and know what I would vaguely refer to.
But at this point, it really doesn't matter and I'm learning it would be impossible to explain thoughts/experiences about "being free and living" without talking about the life I'm living and freedom I'm experiencing. Honesty is everything, and without giving at least some kind of signifier of what's going on, none of these lessons would seem legitimate or my words genuine.
The truth is, I'm an absolute mess.
We all are--but it's more real to admit to that personally.
Sin and pain have been an interchangeable duo as of late, humbly reminding me of my brokenness.
I can't complain about it; it's the epitome of who and what humans are. So I'm thankful, but it sucks.
I contemplated changing this blog title to "Diary of a Broken-Up-With-Girl" considering so many of these thoughts/lessons have come as a result of my current relationship status.
But that wouldn't suffice.
These lessons go way deeper, and I would rather streak through police station headquarters than brand myself in the above titled category. It doesn't define me--though it has been the breeding ground for some very enlightening thoughts and life-changes :) So in that case, I'm grateful for it. But either way, the words and experiences of this blog are about LIFE, and everything that falls into that.
Trying to summarize all I've been learning in the past few months is a really overwhelming thought (one that has clearly kept me from writing anything since August 27, ha)--but I'll try my absolute best. Again, apologies in advance if these are confusing/redundant.
To make things concise, I'll try and categorize.
suffering.
honesty.
intimacy.
healing.
Truth be told, I actually saved this post yesterday to come back and edit it at this exact place (despite my opening paragraph-ha). I was going to expound on each of those subjects in this entry, but would really like to take a separate post for each for the sake of clarity and time-management (not to mention the amount of reading in one sitting). Overall it can be summed up to say that I'm learning what it means to be a woman of virtue--and how far I am from that. I'm learning what Jesus really meant by His words and both how I live and how I should live in light of that. I think it's honest to say I've really only dabbled in the above-stated categories-- but each one has already brought a noticable amount of life, freedom and understanding of self and reality (whether those are spiritual realities or physical ones about the world around us).
One of the books I'm currently reading (I'm really awful with book ADD-- I think I'm reading through 4 right now-ha) has a line that can best sum up both where I am and where I want to go. To quote it, "...soulless conformity never leads to life-giving change."
I want so badly to follow Jesus with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength. I want to show people around me--whether it's valet attendants, co-workers, family/friends, homeless, prostitutes, or absolute enemies--the love that has no conditions, no excuses or acceptions because it is God Himself. So this is my journey to do so. And along the way, let him heal things I have not previously acknowledged as wounds to better understand that love. Which is to better understand God.
The next few posts will hopefully follow the above categories, but no promises. Lots of really cool events happen on the regular that I might just have to post about :)
Anyway, my apologies for letting "overwhelmedness" restrict me from writing. Here we go...
p.s. my apologies go out particularly to a special someone of a more seasoned generation having difficulty with this font size ;) For some reason the only other option it's allowing is a gigantic size that takes up the whole screen for a paragraph. Let me know if it's needed though :)
I don't feel like I have to write, but have wanted to and haven't because so many of life's current lessons blend together. So, each of the several posts I've started to write in the past few weeks have ended in an "ah this is too much, I'll finish it later" mindset.
Well, no more later--the time is now.
I've really debated on getting personal in this blog. I've gotten personal to an extent, but not nearly to the depths or specifics of where I'm truly at. At first, I planned on this blog being a bunch of external writings having to do with life and faith at large. You know, keep things general; avoid personal emotion at all cost.
For a while that was out of respect for people in my life who may read this--or others who may read it and know what I would vaguely refer to.
But at this point, it really doesn't matter and I'm learning it would be impossible to explain thoughts/experiences about "being free and living" without talking about the life I'm living and freedom I'm experiencing. Honesty is everything, and without giving at least some kind of signifier of what's going on, none of these lessons would seem legitimate or my words genuine.
The truth is, I'm an absolute mess.
We all are--but it's more real to admit to that personally.
Sin and pain have been an interchangeable duo as of late, humbly reminding me of my brokenness.
I can't complain about it; it's the epitome of who and what humans are. So I'm thankful, but it sucks.
I contemplated changing this blog title to "Diary of a Broken-Up-With-Girl" considering so many of these thoughts/lessons have come as a result of my current relationship status.
But that wouldn't suffice.
These lessons go way deeper, and I would rather streak through police station headquarters than brand myself in the above titled category. It doesn't define me--though it has been the breeding ground for some very enlightening thoughts and life-changes :) So in that case, I'm grateful for it. But either way, the words and experiences of this blog are about LIFE, and everything that falls into that.
Trying to summarize all I've been learning in the past few months is a really overwhelming thought (one that has clearly kept me from writing anything since August 27, ha)--but I'll try my absolute best. Again, apologies in advance if these are confusing/redundant.
To make things concise, I'll try and categorize.
suffering.
honesty.
intimacy.
healing.
Truth be told, I actually saved this post yesterday to come back and edit it at this exact place (despite my opening paragraph-ha). I was going to expound on each of those subjects in this entry, but would really like to take a separate post for each for the sake of clarity and time-management (not to mention the amount of reading in one sitting). Overall it can be summed up to say that I'm learning what it means to be a woman of virtue--and how far I am from that. I'm learning what Jesus really meant by His words and both how I live and how I should live in light of that. I think it's honest to say I've really only dabbled in the above-stated categories-- but each one has already brought a noticable amount of life, freedom and understanding of self and reality (whether those are spiritual realities or physical ones about the world around us).
One of the books I'm currently reading (I'm really awful with book ADD-- I think I'm reading through 4 right now-ha) has a line that can best sum up both where I am and where I want to go. To quote it, "...soulless conformity never leads to life-giving change."
I want so badly to follow Jesus with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength. I want to show people around me--whether it's valet attendants, co-workers, family/friends, homeless, prostitutes, or absolute enemies--the love that has no conditions, no excuses or acceptions because it is God Himself. So this is my journey to do so. And along the way, let him heal things I have not previously acknowledged as wounds to better understand that love. Which is to better understand God.
The next few posts will hopefully follow the above categories, but no promises. Lots of really cool events happen on the regular that I might just have to post about :)
Anyway, my apologies for letting "overwhelmedness" restrict me from writing. Here we go...
p.s. my apologies go out particularly to a special someone of a more seasoned generation having difficulty with this font size ;) For some reason the only other option it's allowing is a gigantic size that takes up the whole screen for a paragraph. Let me know if it's needed though :)
Saturday, August 27, 2011
UA = Me.
Upper Arlington, Ohio is an extremely nice place to live.
I've been here about two months and having seen what I have of it, I think I can honestly say that.
It is a typical, suburban-American community with nice people and nice places.
Everyone's houses are very nice internally and structurally, with nice lawns and nice landscaping.
Children are typically nice in school and out of it (from what my teacher friends tell me anyway), and parents have very nice, meaningful interactions with their kids.
There are nice schools, nice fire houses, nice playgrounds by the fire houses, nice police stations, nice libraries, nice gardens and bike riding trails, and nice activities for nice families to take part it.
The people are really nice (both on the surface and some truly at heart). Most people here are very nice looking, and while there's not a lot of diversity in ethnicity or background, they are nice to the people who are different from them.
Moms here love their daughters having nice friends; "oh she's such a nice girl" is the phrase kids want to hear, and often do.
Friends are very nice to each other, inviting each other to their nice homes or to do nice things around town.
Dads take their sons on nice trips to the ballpark and nicely devote their time to coach some form of team.
Churches are very, very nice. Too much to describe now..but I can another time.
I use the word 'nice' because that's truly the best way to describe it. 'Nice' in this context then means clean, well-kept, color coordinated, pleasant in demeanor, "pretty" by society's standards, and giving the perfect appearance of well-roundedness, peace and harmony. Funny enough, dictionary.com defines 'nice' as "pleasing; agreeable; delightful", "characterized by, showing, or requiring great accuracy,precision, skill, tact, care, or delicacy", and (this last one's my favorite) "showing or indicating very small differences; minutely accurate, as instruments". I like that: indicating very small differences...as instruments.
Before I get ahead of myself, let me first state that the above statements are strictly observations. They are not sarcastic slams against Upper Arlington or bitter feelings toward this community. In all honesty, I have really enjoyed my time here as far as surroundings go. It's a beautiful town with opportunities to grow and enrich yourself, however you see fit. The availability to be outdoors is more than appealing and the amount of family interaction really is beautiful. I am overjoyed to see parents investing in their kids in a real way and teachers genuinely striving to see growth in a child. The resources here are rich indeed and it does give a sense of "groundedness" (I know that's not a word) and security for individuals who grow up here. Coming from a mainly inner-city exposure, this place has actually been somewhat refreshing. As long as you stay grounded in Jesus and His Kingdom though.
I made those observations above because that's simply what I've done since I got here: observed. Not for any specific purpose or goal, I am just genuinely interested in culture and people groups so I have really jumped into this one. Whether I'm watching interactions, biking around to check out the area, or actively engaging in people's lives, I've been observing the way people live and the affect that has on who they are. So, while I'm fully aware of the dangers that comforts and securities can have on the mentality and lifestyle of Christians, my main objective in making these observations was not for malicious intent--it just sort of happened. Every culture has barriers to really living the Christian faith, so attacking the suburbs is not the way to go about change in our society.
I am writing these observations out, because I realized the other day that this way of living somewhat resembles my faith. This thought came after a run. It was a really tough run that day, physically and mentally which led to emotional frustration, so I decided to take a longer time walking at the end to literally cool down. As I was walking, I started to talk to God...and it was really raw. Anger, hurt, frustration, and hope all mixed together as I talked to God about life, and where mine is currently in particular. I realized that this was the first time in about a week that I really felt vulnerable before God and was genuinely telling Him things, believing He would hear me.
In the past few weeks, God has been giving me a lot of cool thoughts about a variety of things. I've done a lot of reading by a lot of really enlightened and talented writers, and those, mixed with my own thoughts and experiences have generated many deep thoughts about the Kingdom of God in relationship to the way things are right now--and simply faith in general.
In the midst of these thoughts and writings, I somehow managed to weasel my way out of being vulnerable before God; I avoided being real with Him and trusting that He heard me.
How is that possible?!
Very simply for the compartmentalized mind, unfortunately.
As I walked, I cognitively devoted that time to God alone--taking Him on the walk with me.
Sounds weird, I know, but it's not. It's real--and that's where the suburbs tie in.
The err in suburban living is that it often remains surface level and self-centered. It leaves the door wide open for selfishness and temporary mentality and therefore temporary living.
In my own life, this has manifested through how I spend my time and it has really affected my connection with God.
I'm not talking about giving time to the people around me, I mean specific, devoted time to be with God alone. To recognize Him, to talk to Him, but most importantly to listen to Him.
While I was "cooling down", following my vent session, I was silent--for a long time--and was aware of the God who Created all.
By simply looking at the sky, or the movement of the leaves from the wind it was as if God was like "Hello, I'm a person too!"
I forget that.
I forget that He's real.
It's sick.
As a Christian, we spend so much time trying to discover how to live instead of trying to discover who God is.
Not just in character, but His heart and His mind.
These things are inexplicably intertwined and the problem is when we see them as separate. Like I often do.
But it starts with God--who He is and then how He wants us to live.
If we miss that, we're all off.
This has been extremely long-winded to come to this one point: I (and often many of us) am like the mom who calls their daughter's friend 'nice' without actually knowing them. I call God 'nice', and talk about His ways sometimes without acknowledging Him in my daily activities.
We make time for boyfriends/girlfriends and when not with them we "balance" it out by making time for friends/family.
We make time to read our bibles, maybe even time to study it, and sometimes make time to pray for the world around us.
We make time to serve, and time to tell people about it.
We make time to go to church and invest in the lives of people in our home groups.
But what we don't often do, what I don't do enough, is sit and be still and connect with who He is.
Jesus' life was that of consecration and obedience to the Father--so why should mine be any different?
I pray God will not just make my actions/words still, but my very heart itself.
That He will humble my to a quiet place with His love and that from there, live will flow.
I've been here about two months and having seen what I have of it, I think I can honestly say that.
It is a typical, suburban-American community with nice people and nice places.
Everyone's houses are very nice internally and structurally, with nice lawns and nice landscaping.
Children are typically nice in school and out of it (from what my teacher friends tell me anyway), and parents have very nice, meaningful interactions with their kids.
There are nice schools, nice fire houses, nice playgrounds by the fire houses, nice police stations, nice libraries, nice gardens and bike riding trails, and nice activities for nice families to take part it.
The people are really nice (both on the surface and some truly at heart). Most people here are very nice looking, and while there's not a lot of diversity in ethnicity or background, they are nice to the people who are different from them.
Moms here love their daughters having nice friends; "oh she's such a nice girl" is the phrase kids want to hear, and often do.
Friends are very nice to each other, inviting each other to their nice homes or to do nice things around town.
Dads take their sons on nice trips to the ballpark and nicely devote their time to coach some form of team.
Churches are very, very nice. Too much to describe now..but I can another time.
I use the word 'nice' because that's truly the best way to describe it. 'Nice' in this context then means clean, well-kept, color coordinated, pleasant in demeanor, "pretty" by society's standards, and giving the perfect appearance of well-roundedness, peace and harmony. Funny enough, dictionary.com defines 'nice' as "pleasing; agreeable; delightful", "characterized by, showing, or requiring great accuracy,precision, skill, tact, care, or delicacy", and (this last one's my favorite) "showing or indicating very small differences; minutely accurate, as instruments". I like that: indicating very small differences...as instruments.
Before I get ahead of myself, let me first state that the above statements are strictly observations. They are not sarcastic slams against Upper Arlington or bitter feelings toward this community. In all honesty, I have really enjoyed my time here as far as surroundings go. It's a beautiful town with opportunities to grow and enrich yourself, however you see fit. The availability to be outdoors is more than appealing and the amount of family interaction really is beautiful. I am overjoyed to see parents investing in their kids in a real way and teachers genuinely striving to see growth in a child. The resources here are rich indeed and it does give a sense of "groundedness" (I know that's not a word) and security for individuals who grow up here. Coming from a mainly inner-city exposure, this place has actually been somewhat refreshing. As long as you stay grounded in Jesus and His Kingdom though.
I made those observations above because that's simply what I've done since I got here: observed. Not for any specific purpose or goal, I am just genuinely interested in culture and people groups so I have really jumped into this one. Whether I'm watching interactions, biking around to check out the area, or actively engaging in people's lives, I've been observing the way people live and the affect that has on who they are. So, while I'm fully aware of the dangers that comforts and securities can have on the mentality and lifestyle of Christians, my main objective in making these observations was not for malicious intent--it just sort of happened. Every culture has barriers to really living the Christian faith, so attacking the suburbs is not the way to go about change in our society.
I am writing these observations out, because I realized the other day that this way of living somewhat resembles my faith. This thought came after a run. It was a really tough run that day, physically and mentally which led to emotional frustration, so I decided to take a longer time walking at the end to literally cool down. As I was walking, I started to talk to God...and it was really raw. Anger, hurt, frustration, and hope all mixed together as I talked to God about life, and where mine is currently in particular. I realized that this was the first time in about a week that I really felt vulnerable before God and was genuinely telling Him things, believing He would hear me.
In the past few weeks, God has been giving me a lot of cool thoughts about a variety of things. I've done a lot of reading by a lot of really enlightened and talented writers, and those, mixed with my own thoughts and experiences have generated many deep thoughts about the Kingdom of God in relationship to the way things are right now--and simply faith in general.
In the midst of these thoughts and writings, I somehow managed to weasel my way out of being vulnerable before God; I avoided being real with Him and trusting that He heard me.
How is that possible?!
Very simply for the compartmentalized mind, unfortunately.
As I walked, I cognitively devoted that time to God alone--taking Him on the walk with me.
Sounds weird, I know, but it's not. It's real--and that's where the suburbs tie in.
The err in suburban living is that it often remains surface level and self-centered. It leaves the door wide open for selfishness and temporary mentality and therefore temporary living.
In my own life, this has manifested through how I spend my time and it has really affected my connection with God.
I'm not talking about giving time to the people around me, I mean specific, devoted time to be with God alone. To recognize Him, to talk to Him, but most importantly to listen to Him.
While I was "cooling down", following my vent session, I was silent--for a long time--and was aware of the God who Created all.
By simply looking at the sky, or the movement of the leaves from the wind it was as if God was like "Hello, I'm a person too!"
I forget that.
I forget that He's real.
It's sick.
As a Christian, we spend so much time trying to discover how to live instead of trying to discover who God is.
Not just in character, but His heart and His mind.
These things are inexplicably intertwined and the problem is when we see them as separate. Like I often do.
But it starts with God--who He is and then how He wants us to live.
If we miss that, we're all off.
This has been extremely long-winded to come to this one point: I (and often many of us) am like the mom who calls their daughter's friend 'nice' without actually knowing them. I call God 'nice', and talk about His ways sometimes without acknowledging Him in my daily activities.
We make time for boyfriends/girlfriends and when not with them we "balance" it out by making time for friends/family.
We make time to read our bibles, maybe even time to study it, and sometimes make time to pray for the world around us.
We make time to serve, and time to tell people about it.
We make time to go to church and invest in the lives of people in our home groups.
But what we don't often do, what I don't do enough, is sit and be still and connect with who He is.
Jesus' life was that of consecration and obedience to the Father--so why should mine be any different?
I pray God will not just make my actions/words still, but my very heart itself.
That He will humble my to a quiet place with His love and that from there, live will flow.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Reverse Hierarchy
Okay, so I have a lot of thoughts tonight. Most are from previous days that I haven't had the chance to type out--but regardless, they all sort of go together. For the sake of attempted clarity, this post will be about one in particular.
I was sitting in a work training yesterday (which was about job coaching and job development for people with disabilities) and the comment was made regarding developing positions for individuals with disabilities to not only benefit their lives but to benefit the company overall, and more specifically, higher paid employees who don't have time/don't want to take care of minute company tasks.
This got me thinking and the words "higher paid employees" really stuck out in particular.
It didn't set right with me. Which is sort of hypocritical because I am a higher paid employee.
It's an obvious given that our society, and all societies in the history of mankind, has/have been and is based on hierarchy of some kind. In terms of the workforce and workforce development, this looks like a pay-scale. For government and organizations this looks like status or position. For the church..well let's not get into that.
Humanity understands hierarchy because at our core, we understand that there is something greater than us--even if we don't admit or 'believe' it. We can't fight it.
But at the same time, as history has proven over and over, we consistently place ourselves in that place of 'something greater', hence many social structures and American culture as we know it.
I could be wrong on some of these things. Like I prefaced at the beginning of this blog, a lot of these are incomplete thoughts that will probably get edited/changed later in life as I experience and learn more. So if something is totally off-base, feel free to correct.
It just seems to make sense. This innate understanding of 'something greater' (God) is the very reason we cling to hierarchy, yet the distortion of it places it on people. This is how evils such as prejudice, racism, human trafficking and many, many more can even come into play.
Much more can be said about that, and anthropologists and philosophers alike can add content/correct errs. For now, I'm focusing on how this manifests in socioeconomics because that was how this thought originated. Bear with me.
Our society has higher paid employees because of a pay scale. This pay scale is to enforce what one 'deserves' for the work they do. Therefore, if someone doesn't receive a lot of money while working, their work is not as deserving due to lack of education, skills, training, time spent working etc. While this makes sense to us--it doesn't in the eyes of Jesus.
In this philosophy, what you do defines who you are.
The mindset of Jesus is the exact opposite; who you are defines what you do.
Jesus talks over and over about actions being an overflow of the condition of the heart (see 'Sermon on the Mount' for details).
Think about this & really let this truth sink in.
What we do does not define who we are--but who we are will categorically affect the things that we do.
In the Christian worldview, the belief that we can do more to be more is called "works-based faith". It assumes that we are valued because of what we do and can therefore gain spiritually by doing "better". This is false belief though, and if you understand anything about the way humans function healthily, it makes sense to call it a lie.
The Kingdom of God is flipped; meaning it is the complete and polar opposite of this way of thinking/doing things. There is hierarchy but it differs vastly and is not dependent on actions. Meekness is greatness, internal qualities are beauty rather than external ones, and what one does doesn't place or revoke value on/from them but who they are does. Which, in the Christian worldview, seems hopeless when you look at humans in term of an innately sinful nature. That's not the whole view though because God has created each person in His image therefore placing intrinsic value within them. He then gives those who believe in Him the Holy Spirit to transform their messiness into the character of Jesus, who holds all of those qualities that are pleasing to God.
If we could believe this..like really, truly believe this..so many things would change.
If we would believe this, it could help in times of 'identity amnesia' which always leads to 'identity replacement' (heard those phrases from a sermon--not my own).
If we would believe this, it would eliminate any false, works-based faith that so permeates American sunday school curriculum (that is not a blanket statement, but typically true).
If we would believe this, lies could be defeated so much easier and falling into traps of people pleasing and self-centeredness would be a lesser occurrence.
If we would believe this, we would be so much more free.
Understanding who we are in light of a crazily awesome God should settle us to a place of security, knowing we are loved by Him regardless of what we do. I know I'm hitting on a lot of different topics all in one here, but the thought of social hierarchy prompted this thought-chain and made myself more aware of things I'm believing (truth and lies). And I don't think I'm alone in those beliefs.
Let's believe truth.
Let's live lives based on the hierarchy of the Kingdom of God and pray it will change our society to look more like that.
This really starts within me, but if you're with me on this stuff..I challenge you to dig deeper.
[signed, Allison-Idon'tknowhowtoendablogentry-Clark]
I was sitting in a work training yesterday (which was about job coaching and job development for people with disabilities) and the comment was made regarding developing positions for individuals with disabilities to not only benefit their lives but to benefit the company overall, and more specifically, higher paid employees who don't have time/don't want to take care of minute company tasks.
This got me thinking and the words "higher paid employees" really stuck out in particular.
It didn't set right with me. Which is sort of hypocritical because I am a higher paid employee.
It's an obvious given that our society, and all societies in the history of mankind, has/have been and is based on hierarchy of some kind. In terms of the workforce and workforce development, this looks like a pay-scale. For government and organizations this looks like status or position. For the church..well let's not get into that.
Humanity understands hierarchy because at our core, we understand that there is something greater than us--even if we don't admit or 'believe' it. We can't fight it.
But at the same time, as history has proven over and over, we consistently place ourselves in that place of 'something greater', hence many social structures and American culture as we know it.
I could be wrong on some of these things. Like I prefaced at the beginning of this blog, a lot of these are incomplete thoughts that will probably get edited/changed later in life as I experience and learn more. So if something is totally off-base, feel free to correct.
It just seems to make sense. This innate understanding of 'something greater' (God) is the very reason we cling to hierarchy, yet the distortion of it places it on people. This is how evils such as prejudice, racism, human trafficking and many, many more can even come into play.
Much more can be said about that, and anthropologists and philosophers alike can add content/correct errs. For now, I'm focusing on how this manifests in socioeconomics because that was how this thought originated. Bear with me.
Our society has higher paid employees because of a pay scale. This pay scale is to enforce what one 'deserves' for the work they do. Therefore, if someone doesn't receive a lot of money while working, their work is not as deserving due to lack of education, skills, training, time spent working etc. While this makes sense to us--it doesn't in the eyes of Jesus.
In this philosophy, what you do defines who you are.
The mindset of Jesus is the exact opposite; who you are defines what you do.
Jesus talks over and over about actions being an overflow of the condition of the heart (see 'Sermon on the Mount' for details).
Think about this & really let this truth sink in.
What we do does not define who we are--but who we are will categorically affect the things that we do.
In the Christian worldview, the belief that we can do more to be more is called "works-based faith". It assumes that we are valued because of what we do and can therefore gain spiritually by doing "better". This is false belief though, and if you understand anything about the way humans function healthily, it makes sense to call it a lie.
The Kingdom of God is flipped; meaning it is the complete and polar opposite of this way of thinking/doing things. There is hierarchy but it differs vastly and is not dependent on actions. Meekness is greatness, internal qualities are beauty rather than external ones, and what one does doesn't place or revoke value on/from them but who they are does. Which, in the Christian worldview, seems hopeless when you look at humans in term of an innately sinful nature. That's not the whole view though because God has created each person in His image therefore placing intrinsic value within them. He then gives those who believe in Him the Holy Spirit to transform their messiness into the character of Jesus, who holds all of those qualities that are pleasing to God.
If we could believe this..like really, truly believe this..so many things would change.
If we would believe this, it could help in times of 'identity amnesia' which always leads to 'identity replacement' (heard those phrases from a sermon--not my own).
If we would believe this, it would eliminate any false, works-based faith that so permeates American sunday school curriculum (that is not a blanket statement, but typically true).
If we would believe this, lies could be defeated so much easier and falling into traps of people pleasing and self-centeredness would be a lesser occurrence.
If we would believe this, we would be so much more free.
Understanding who we are in light of a crazily awesome God should settle us to a place of security, knowing we are loved by Him regardless of what we do. I know I'm hitting on a lot of different topics all in one here, but the thought of social hierarchy prompted this thought-chain and made myself more aware of things I'm believing (truth and lies). And I don't think I'm alone in those beliefs.
Let's believe truth.
Let's live lives based on the hierarchy of the Kingdom of God and pray it will change our society to look more like that.
This really starts within me, but if you're with me on this stuff..I challenge you to dig deeper.
[signed, Allison-Idon'tknowhowtoendablogentry-Clark]
Friday, August 19, 2011
August 18.
"All my delight is in you Lord..." ...you sure?
The Rich Man and Jesus.
Matt. 19: 16-30.
Jesus spoke with simplicity and authority; reality rather than allurement.
"It is what it is", was his subliminal motto. "Come to me and great will your reward be in heaven."
"But that's not right NOW." thought the man, consciously or subconsciously.
"This can't be. That's too much. How can I have great treasure when He's asking me to give all this up?! Plus, I'm not even that good at selling things. That can't be what He means."
But it is, beloved.
He asks for everything. And in turn, promises everything. Which doesn't make sense. But then again, that's the Kingdom--where everything is flipped around. Where the poor are rich? The hurting are comforted? The lowly and humble are the highest exalted? Where not just actions, but hearts have to be pure? What does it even mean for a heart to be pure? (Matt. 5:3-8) That doesn't make sense! These are our thoughts.
But it does make sense...in the mind of Jesus. This is how Paul says that the church in Corinth will be transformed, "...by the renewal of your mind." (Rom. 12:2)
And this is why Jesus' words to the rich man don't make sense to us. Or at least not when we're the rich man and Jesus is asking us to give something.
We think with our mind--our fleshly, selfish, human mind where it's all about loss; where sacrifice is giving, which is painful, which is 'I don't want to do it' because 'I want'.
As Oswald Chambers says, the rich man came with zeal and determination and then left with sorrow and discouragement because of what Jesus asked for. He didn't even have to say that to Jesus; he was just so sad. And then walked away, head hanging, probably fighting depression and condemnation. ["But hey, you have your stuff", says the enemy] hm.
What Jesus is saying though is to leave all that behind because He has something even better! It's more lasting, more fulfilling, and will be sweeter than we can even believe.
But we can't believe. We can't give. We can't wait. Or at least we won't.
It's all about our will; our plans, our desires. We still have them.
That's what keeps us from freedom in Jesus and an understanding of God and His ways.
Our "will" (look up a definition for that word right now) has to become His will or it's never going to work.
We can fight it--and on the surface be really, really "happy"--but our souls will never be at rest.
The very deepest places in us that we can't even pinpoint will not be content--leading us to the feeling of need.
Which is why we want more things, buy more things, date more people, text more frequently, travel more selfishly, and basically do anything that means I don't have to give ___________ to Jesus, because _______ is all I really need.
This is why 'stuff' never satisfies (whether it's physical or emotional). It's temporary. And our souls know that--but our minds don't--or won't admit it.
The rich man is the perfect representation of us; that's what is in our nature to be and to think and to do.
Temporary, self-consumed, impatient.
We literally have to ask God to change us. Starting at the heart; changing our motivations (which constitutes a change of our minds).
If we could "get" the big picture that it's not about us--that it's about God and his glory being displayed and about all of creation coming to worship him, with him then working all things together for their good--then giving is actually receiving, and sacrifice really is gain.
If we could recognize and accept that God's plan is better than our and then submit to that--no matter what the cost--we will find rest and freedom and joy we didn't even know existed.
It takes believing though. Then obeying--with the help of the Holy Spirit.
That is when we truly come to life and live.
The Bible really is right, then.
To live, we must die; to receive, we must give; to have faith, we must believe.
Amen.
The Rich Man and Jesus.
Matt. 19: 16-30.
Jesus spoke with simplicity and authority; reality rather than allurement.
"It is what it is", was his subliminal motto. "Come to me and great will your reward be in heaven."
"But that's not right NOW." thought the man, consciously or subconsciously.
"This can't be. That's too much. How can I have great treasure when He's asking me to give all this up?! Plus, I'm not even that good at selling things. That can't be what He means."
But it is, beloved.
He asks for everything. And in turn, promises everything. Which doesn't make sense. But then again, that's the Kingdom--where everything is flipped around. Where the poor are rich? The hurting are comforted? The lowly and humble are the highest exalted? Where not just actions, but hearts have to be pure? What does it even mean for a heart to be pure? (Matt. 5:3-8) That doesn't make sense! These are our thoughts.
But it does make sense...in the mind of Jesus. This is how Paul says that the church in Corinth will be transformed, "...by the renewal of your mind." (Rom. 12:2)
And this is why Jesus' words to the rich man don't make sense to us. Or at least not when we're the rich man and Jesus is asking us to give something.
We think with our mind--our fleshly, selfish, human mind where it's all about loss; where sacrifice is giving, which is painful, which is 'I don't want to do it' because 'I want'.
As Oswald Chambers says, the rich man came with zeal and determination and then left with sorrow and discouragement because of what Jesus asked for. He didn't even have to say that to Jesus; he was just so sad. And then walked away, head hanging, probably fighting depression and condemnation. ["But hey, you have your stuff", says the enemy] hm.
What Jesus is saying though is to leave all that behind because He has something even better! It's more lasting, more fulfilling, and will be sweeter than we can even believe.
But we can't believe. We can't give. We can't wait. Or at least we won't.
It's all about our will; our plans, our desires. We still have them.
That's what keeps us from freedom in Jesus and an understanding of God and His ways.
Our "will" (look up a definition for that word right now) has to become His will or it's never going to work.
We can fight it--and on the surface be really, really "happy"--but our souls will never be at rest.
The very deepest places in us that we can't even pinpoint will not be content--leading us to the feeling of need.
Which is why we want more things, buy more things, date more people, text more frequently, travel more selfishly, and basically do anything that means I don't have to give ___________ to Jesus, because _______ is all I really need.
This is why 'stuff' never satisfies (whether it's physical or emotional). It's temporary. And our souls know that--but our minds don't--or won't admit it.
The rich man is the perfect representation of us; that's what is in our nature to be and to think and to do.
Temporary, self-consumed, impatient.
We literally have to ask God to change us. Starting at the heart; changing our motivations (which constitutes a change of our minds).
If we could "get" the big picture that it's not about us--that it's about God and his glory being displayed and about all of creation coming to worship him, with him then working all things together for their good--then giving is actually receiving, and sacrifice really is gain.
If we could recognize and accept that God's plan is better than our and then submit to that--no matter what the cost--we will find rest and freedom and joy we didn't even know existed.
It takes believing though. Then obeying--with the help of the Holy Spirit.
That is when we truly come to life and live.
The Bible really is right, then.
To live, we must die; to receive, we must give; to have faith, we must believe.
Amen.
August 15.
quick note: some of these writings are from previous dates. see post title for details. : )
Morning Prayer --
We live in this prison of falsehood; manmade ideals of fleshly living that suffocate the eternal glory which has the ability to be found daily. God, baptize us with your truth to LIVE fully and abundantly in the callings to which we have been called. Eradicate previous thrones of self-centeredness and temporary mentality. Lift us to a place of graciousness and unconditional giving of self and resources. Grow our desire to know you, see you and love you, and set us free from the chains of laziness, apathy, and complacency. Create in us new hearts and new minds, creatively seeking new endeavors--never being stifled by mundanity or hopelessness. May our hearts be drawn so far out of society that the culture of our lives would be that of your Kingdom. Shed the scales from our eyes and give us faith that brings life to the dead by the power of Jesus' name and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Your goodness is true, and your ways simple. Reveal to us the hidden treasures of your heart and your mind for your glory and names' sake. All praise be to our God and Father and to his son, Jesus Christ, and to his Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Morning Prayer --
We live in this prison of falsehood; manmade ideals of fleshly living that suffocate the eternal glory which has the ability to be found daily. God, baptize us with your truth to LIVE fully and abundantly in the callings to which we have been called. Eradicate previous thrones of self-centeredness and temporary mentality. Lift us to a place of graciousness and unconditional giving of self and resources. Grow our desire to know you, see you and love you, and set us free from the chains of laziness, apathy, and complacency. Create in us new hearts and new minds, creatively seeking new endeavors--never being stifled by mundanity or hopelessness. May our hearts be drawn so far out of society that the culture of our lives would be that of your Kingdom. Shed the scales from our eyes and give us faith that brings life to the dead by the power of Jesus' name and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Your goodness is true, and your ways simple. Reveal to us the hidden treasures of your heart and your mind for your glory and names' sake. All praise be to our God and Father and to his son, Jesus Christ, and to his Holy Spirit.
Amen.
LIVE.
Okay, so I'm finally doing this.
Starting a blog. A public one.
I've had a secret one since the beginning of the year but have recently been writing a lot and it was suggested to me by a good friend to start a blog where I can share these thoughts/writings.
I'm not "good" at writing, or even thinking for that matter. I usually over think or not at all.
Any thoughts that are profound or beautiful come from God--so thank Him.
I'm on a lunch break from work right now so this won't be long. Just a description of this newness which will include thoughts and probably ramblings; hopefully in a somewhat consistent pattern (but no promises). I don't have a "plan" for postings. To be honest, I'm not really sure how these blog things work..
Consider this my attempt to defeat insecurity and share honest thoughts, deep and surface level (probably all of which will be incomplete or edited at a later time in life). I apologize in advance for any confusion, boredom, or poor writing you may experience. Here goes..something? HA
Starting a blog. A public one.
I've had a secret one since the beginning of the year but have recently been writing a lot and it was suggested to me by a good friend to start a blog where I can share these thoughts/writings.
I'm not "good" at writing, or even thinking for that matter. I usually over think or not at all.
Any thoughts that are profound or beautiful come from God--so thank Him.
I'm on a lunch break from work right now so this won't be long. Just a description of this newness which will include thoughts and probably ramblings; hopefully in a somewhat consistent pattern (but no promises). I don't have a "plan" for postings. To be honest, I'm not really sure how these blog things work..
Consider this my attempt to defeat insecurity and share honest thoughts, deep and surface level (probably all of which will be incomplete or edited at a later time in life). I apologize in advance for any confusion, boredom, or poor writing you may experience. Here goes..something? HA
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)