"Hurry up and Heal"

I got a tattoo recently.
It's sweet. Simple and may not make sense to others (definitely not the artist, ha) but it's meaningful to me.
It's a simple black band of ink across my left ring finger to symbolize being forever loved and wed to my God.
I've always wanted to get one in the future with my husband because that relationship was to represent forever.
Going through a break up though really teaches a girl some things. For one, I don't want to wait around for any man. Another, no person's love will EVER compare to the Father's. It is intimately perfect, and consistently faithful. It can't be broken by anyone or anything and we ourselves can't even control it.
So, I wanted a permanent reminder of this love--and if I ever do get married, when my husband wants to get a tattoo ring together (because he will), it will just have to go around this one. :)

This tattoo, though small, has strongly resembled happenings in my life on a deeper level.
The healing process for a tat is very interesting.
The first few days are critical, then it scabs up and you think it's going to be the ugliest thing or you've just obtained some scab-related fungus from the tattoo shop. The scabbing will eventually go away, but in the mean time you have to be careful around it for fading/spotting purposes.
I am an extremely impatient person. And really want to skip the healing process.
"Come onnnn, heal already!" is my thought literally every time I glance down at my symbol.
But it will not heal any faster than it needs the time to do.
This is frustrating to me because there are a lot of other types of healing going on deep within, and I'm realizing I can't rush those either.

This is personal, and it might sound really crazy to some, but I've started to go see a counselor to deal with some of the junk in my past. It has evidently never been dealt with, as it keeps manifesting in poor, self-or-others destructive choices, and surfaces in vague memory form from time to time.
The counselor didn't say much after I talked her ear off (surprising, I know)--but each comment was a rabid blow to the heart. Each comment was truth, which is why it hurt so much.
I left realizing we had literally not even scratched the surface of this junk and as I read material she suggested, I know it will be a long, hard road to freedom.
It's worth it (so I'm told), but it's extremely scary and overwhelming.
"Hurry up already! Just be healed, would ya?!" is how my mind reacts to my hearts distresses.
But having never healed from monumental pains, I see that I need to learn how to heal and to deal.
I'm the ultimate suppressor.
People on the whole are pretty good at it, but I mean it--I'm scarily good at it.

Regardless, it's time to let go of the fear (or just try and ignore it) and jump in full-force to the slow, much-needed process of healing of the heart. Just like my tat, it's going to take longer that I want to admit to. And at times it's going to look and feel so painfully awkward that I'm sure it will look like I made the wrong choice letting these issues surface.But those scabs are lies; they do not signify what will come--which will hopefully be permanent, pure, freedom-bound healing.